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A Letter to the Soldier on my Memorial Bracelet

During Memorial Day weekend and the days around Veteran’s Day, I wear a memorial bracelet of a soldier who died in Iraq. The research that I have found shows this soldier was killed in the same area I was in Iraq at the time, it is also possible, although I’ll never know for sure that I shared his honor flight out of Iraq with him. The honor flight is a soldier's flight home after dying in a war zone. This flight was the first of possibly many to get their body home to their family. The image of this covered deceased soldier flying on the same flight I was on troubled me for a long time, so I did research to try and find out who this person might have been. I found the name of a person killed in the area I would have been in on that day, I will never know for sure if this soldier is for sure the one I shared a flight with, but no matter what, I will honor him just the same. Following is a letter I wish I could send to heaven to let him know I remember him, and assuming I shared a f
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Volunteers Carry the Load, But the Weight is Getting Heavy

  I love volunteering. I have made amazing friendships and learned so much from volunteering. I volunteer in my community, I have volunteered to coach on occasion, and I volunteer in my church. I do it because it makes me feel good about helping others and bringing events to our small corner of the world. My personality has been made and molded to help others.  While volunteering I have learned how to best set up a serving line that maximizes efficiency.  I have learned how amazing and funny the kids in our community are.  I have learned planning and organizing skills that have continued to get better (I think). I have also learned the subtle art of give and take when working with a group of people.  Photo by Hanna Morris on Unsplash My journey of volunteering hasn't been easy in a small community. I have been stressed and irritated at someone or something that just didn't go the way I wanted it to or thought it would go. But along the way, I have gained such respect for other

Our scars make us better

I have a scar on my arm from getting scratched by a chicken, and a scar on my leg where I fell into barbed wire in my parent's pasture, and a scar on my wrist from breaking a window at my parent's house after my brother had locked the door.  These scars are my physical reminders of lessons that I have learned over the years.  I sometimes wish that I didn't have these scars, especially the ones on my wrist, but I do.  I can't change what happened, when I got these scars.  But I can learn from them and change my future behavior so I don't get anymore scars like them again.   Like a lot of people in our country I have been trying to wrap my brain around all the protests and the tearing down of statues.  And I get the pain and frustration, I can empathize with people who feel that they are not treated fairly in our country.  I can empathize with people who are angry with our countries history, it is terrible how our country has treated people, even in modern history.  I

The old pew

We sat in our old pew today, after three months of not being able to attend church physically, because of the COVID-19 virus. It felt amazing to be back in our old pew, and I took a few moments to just feel all the emotions, and the blessings of being back in our usual spot on a Sunday morning. I embraced all the history our family has in our usual spot in church. The pew where we were newlyweds, full of hope and dreams, and waiting for our life to start. The pew where we became a family of three. The pew where I had an emotional breakdown during Easter service, after a miscarriage. The pew where we learned toys, crayons, and anything that could roll would roll all the way to the front of the sanctuary. The pew where we welcomed our second son and became our complete family. The pew with no padding, so any noise the boys made is heard across the sanctuary. The pew where I got a hug from the lovely woman in front of us, because I had a rough service with our wild child, who want

Being a Mom in a new war

In January of 2003, I was a 22-year-old college student who was looking forward to my last semester at college.  I had my plans lined up, and goals worked out.  But I got a call that changed my life forever! Oh! I was in the Army Reserve also; did I forget to mention that? Yes, so I got a call that said you have 24 hours to report to the reserve center with all your Army things and whatever else you think you might need for an indeterminate amount of time. What?  I cried all the way home, grieving the life I was leaving behind, having no idea if I would ever return or how life would be, if I returned. I dutifully packed my things and reported like a good soldier, and began my journey to Iraq.  A journey that would end up being a year and a half before returning home.  Life looked a lot different when I returned. A lot of my family and friends seemed very much the same, but I felt very different.  I was looking at life through a different lens, a lens shaded by my experiences the p

Open letter to our Governor

Governor Ricketts,  Thank you for your leadership during this global pandemic, I will never know the hard decisions that come across your desk everyday.  I have been a supporter of yours since your campaign in 2014.  However, I feel that there have been moments during this crises that you are missing what is important to our state.   Nebraska, is an agricultural state, which of course you know, but are you aware of how much farmers have been struggling the last few years.  The price of corn has not been great for awhile now, and many farmers are still recovering from the flooding of last year.  And now with the global pandemic, the market is at rock bottom. (I hope!)  All this stress is piling up on our farmers; physically, mentally, and financially.  And arguably rural Nebraska is the backbone of our great state.  I can not speak for all farmers of course, but some folks out in rural Nebraska feel that you may have forgotten the situation out here.  We feel like this beca

A little hope from our ancestors

The weather is cloudy, cold and most of us are stuck at home due to COVID-19 with the children.  The boys and I are so sick of being around the house, or in the house all the time because it is cold.  I looked out the window of the house the other day into the foggy, grey exterior and it made me wonder how the pioneer women(homesteaders), my ancestors made it through.  The homesteaders also had to deal with pandemics, keeping a household going, homeschooling their kids old school (literally). Miss Mary Longfellow holding down a claim west of Broken Bow, Nebraska, circa 1880s Courtesy  Nebraska State Historical Society , RG2608-1953-a The homesteading women lived with death, plagues of sickness or insects, poor living conditions and sanitation, etc.  I could go on and on about how their life was different and worse than ours.  They didn't have anything compared to what we have, and I don't say that so we feel guilty for our feelings of frustration or anger at our c